According to Cherokee legend, two wolves live within you, locked in a constant battle for power and influence. The Good Wolf embodies joy, kindness, peace, humility, empathy, truth, compassion, and hope-all those positive emotions and thoughts inside of you. The Evil Wolf represents anger, resentment, envy, lies, jealousy, fear, inferiority, and ego- all the negative emotions that rage internally, especially during the discomfort and loneliness of the pandemic.
Which wolf wins? It’s simple: whichever one you feed.
“What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.”
This quote, by author Robin Sharma, lines up with the Evoco Center belief that identifying the source of your motivation is directly proportional to knowing how much joy or pain you’ll experience as a result of your efforts.
Is that thing you’re focusing on the thing you want to expand? Is the wolf you’re feeding the wolf you want to thrive?
If you are focused on the discomfort of the pandemic, your loneliness, the rancor in political discussion, how out of shape you are, how single you feel, how annoying your partner is, and how too-old you are, you are finding evidence to support the thoughts that you are limited.
On the other hand, if you are focused on the opportunity the pandemic presents for learning about ourselves and all the possible social change that may result, relationships that sustain you, the common ground that communities can agree on, the beauty of your diverse expression, how talented and creative you are, and how your genius will serve you, your tribe, and the world, you are finding evidence to support the golden light inside of you. You are confirming the celebration of your wholehearted greatness that you deserve.
Intentions guide. Motivations matter.
Moving towards love and moving away from fear may look like the same journey, but they are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. Different wolves are being fed, and the focus on love vs. fear will manifest whichever force you hold as your main focus.
If your motivation is moving you “Towards” love, then you’ll experience outcomes related to love, like joy, connection, and confidence. The Good Wolf will calmly carry you to a bright future if you encourage and nurture him.
If your motivation is moving you “Away From” fear, then you’ll experience outcomes related to fear, like anger, jealousy, and scarcity. In this situation, the Evil Wolf evokes animalistic survival tendencies in response to fear being the motivating force.
Today, moving “Away From” fear is all too common. Many of us are doing it without even realizing. The fear of not fitting in often diminishes our ability to love ourselves while simultaneously draining our bank accounts. Even before the era of social media, the arenas of GBTQ culture sold us unattainable goals designed to play on our fears of being different. It’s still happening. Requirements for fitting in include having a superhero’s body, a model’s complexion, a pornstar’s sexual acume, and the toys and fashion that only a millionaire’s bank account can deliver.
But as long as we live our lives with the motivation of fitting in, the Evil Wolf will feed off of our fear, insecurities, and the lies we tell ourselves. “If I look like him, I’ll finally be happy.” “They probably think I’m lame.” “I’m not good enough to be with him.” The more negative energy the Evil Wolf consumes, the stronger he gets, and the more these self-fulfilling prophecies will come to be.
Instead, we have the opportunity, as individuals and as GBTQ communities, to move “Towards” something. To move forward. First, we need to find loving kindness inside our individual selves. If we embark on this journey “Towards” love, we’ll soon discover that we deserve all the fruits and abundance that come from living a celebrated life, a life surrounded by people who affirm and celebrate our unique gifts. The more we focus on progressing towards love as our goal rather than fleeing from fear, the more the inherent love inside of each and every one of us will swell and flow throughout every aspect of our lives. That’s what true belonging feels and looks like.
That’s what moving “Towards” love looks like.
So, which will you feed, the Evil Wolf and the energy of “Away From,” or the Good Wolf and the energy of “Towards”?
Remember, “what you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.”