Listen & Subscribe on iTunes!

EP010: Jai Rodriguez - Queer Hollywood

episodes show notes Jun 08, 2020

I was excited to talk to Jai Rodriguez because I’d seen him on Queer Eye, then I realized I’d seen him perform in one of my favorite musicals ever, “Zanna, Don’t!”

So I was a bit star struck.

I don’t like admitting that, but I was.

Then the real magic happened when we spoke, one gay man to another.

Jai is approachable and tells us how it really is for queer people in Hollywood, how COVID-19 is affecting his sex life, growing up evangelical, and being a mentor. 

This high energy interview that moves very fast, so buckle your seat belts boys! This man is gonna tell you what’s really going on. A queer performer teaching us real-life lessons on racial injustice, finding sex that’s a good fit, navigating COVID-19, religion and how gay mentors might do it better.

We talked about:

  • Queer Eye and racial disparity (2:45)
  • Trans people in entertainment (15:51)
  • COVID boyfriends (25:38)
  • Growing up evangelical (31:26)
  • Being a mentor...
Continue Reading...

Bonus: Social Injustice - George Floyd Mattered #BlackLivesMatter

episodes show notes May 31, 2020

PHOTO: In Minneapolis protests intensified in repudiation of the murder of the African-American man George Floyd.


This is my response to the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer. 

I’m 55 years old. I was born in 1965. 

Before I was 5 years old, Martin Luther King would be murdered, Drag Queens and trans women would fight off the police in front of Stonewall, and the United States would launch a rocket that would land men safely on the moon.

In 1992 I listened to the same cacophony of helicopters that are in the air in Los Angeles and many other cities today, as people took to the streets after the brutal beating of Rodney King was caught on videotape. That incident was so frightening to me that I bought a plane ticket and flew to be with my mom in Tucson, AZ. 

Last year I participated in a protest in West Hollywood, CA, against a white man who had killed two black men, Gemmel Moore and Timothy Dean, in his apartment, on two...

Continue Reading...

EP009 - BAM: Oppression to Celebration

episodes show notes May 30, 2020

PHOTO: Protesters took to the streets in the aftermath of the Stonewall riots in lower Manhattan in the summer of 1969. Stonewall marked a turning point in the gay rights movement.


The diagram above showcases the 5 stages oppressed people move through on the journey from oppression to celebration. We learned how to move away from being oppressed, now we need to learn how to move towards celebrating who we are.


Today’s episode is the 2nd installment of my “Being a Man” series.

This is an intimate 1-on-1 between me and you, the listener. 

I will present ideas on “living” on “being” (as in Being A Man) that I find useful in my own life. Being A Man episodes are part older brother insight, part theoretical sandbox, and part Gay Elder pontificating.

These are ideas I’ve cobbled together from just paying attention during my life, from doing my own personal work with therapists, from writing my...

Continue Reading...

EP008: Dr. Don Kilhefner: Wisdom of the Tribal Elder

episodes show notes May 25, 2020
PHOTO: Don Kilhefner and Morris Kight at the Gay Community Services Center, Los Angeles, 1972 © Anthony Friedkin from EMAHO Magazine.
Today’s guest is Dr. Don Kilhefner.

I wanted to interview Dr. Don Kilhefner because his name and accomplishments show up nearly every time I do work on elevating Gay Male Existence. He’s a living icon of gay activism.

In his 80’s, he is still a dynamic force in the gay community. As you will hear in this episode, it’s a community he considers family.

Mr. Kilhefner has a remarkable amount of energy, vision, experience, and wisdom he generously offers to his family on a daily basis .Another guest, who has done and keeps doing amazing things for the gay men’s community. Let’s heed his advice to know ourselves better, so that we may serve our community better. 

Because of the COVID-19 threat, this episode was done over Zoom, so you will notice some sound quality issues. I ask that you focus...

Continue Reading...

EP007: Yuval David - The Loving Adventurer

episodes show notes May 18, 2020

Today I talk with Yuval David.

Yuval is an accomplished actor, filmmaker, content creator, and activist. But the biggest reason I wanted to have a conversation with him is because of his attitude.

His motivation for doing all of these things comes from a place of love. If you have already listened to the first Being a Man, or BAM episode, you’ll remember that I’m big on understanding our core motivations, our feelings, our foundational beliefs about ourselves.

Because when we do that, we get what we want.

What Yuval wants is a better life for the planet and his communities. Yuval’s core motivation is love, and he is committed to a life of the ‘loving adventurer.'

I hope you’ll find some useful information and inspiration as well. Enjoy the episode.

We talked about:

  • Love: a strategic choice [3:58]
  • Identity [6:32]
  • Gay elder [8:54]
  • Self-care [13:35]
  • Youthfulness: a personality trait [23:02]
  • Love Yourself [29:24]
  • Assimilation [32:15]
  • Unnecessary...
Continue Reading...

EP006: Q&A: Hey Gerle, Why Do Gay Men...?

episodes show notes May 08, 2020

PHOTO: Polish gay couple, Jakub Kwiecinski and Dawid Mycek, recently produced and distributed hundreds of free rainbow-hued facemasks. And they documented their philanthropy in a YouTube video. More in this Advocate article.

This is the first in a series of Q&A episodes.

Feel free to submit your questions via FacebookTwitter or using the voice memo feature on your smartphone and emailing it to [email protected].

Really, we want your questions!

Enjoy the show


We talked about:

  • Why did you start this podcast? [06:59]
  • Is there anything that’s off the table in these Q&A? [10:45]
  • What’s the impact of physical distancing due to COVID-19 on the LGBT community? [11:47]
  • How are you managing the tight living quarters? [18:44]
  • Why are gay men still on Scruff and Grindr if we aren't allowed? [29:15]
  • How can we navigate the risks and the rewards as we break this isolation? [33:45]
  • Why are gay men obsessed with sex?...
Continue Reading...

EP005: Dr. Frankie Bashan - Intuition is Everything

episodes show notes May 04, 2020

Photo: If you want something, ask for it! This might seem obvious, but sometimes we get so comfy with how things are in our relationship, that we forget.


Today I talk with Dr. Frankie Bashan, renowned relationship coach and dating expert. 

Dr. Frankie Bashan (or, just Dr. Frankie) is the founder of Little Gay Book, the most successful exclusively lesbian (and bisexual women) matchmaking agency in the United States.

 I wanted to interview Dr. Frankie Bashan because of her authenticity, her dignity, and her courage to serve her community. She leads by example. If I am reincarnated as a lesbian, I hope to be exactly like Dr. Frankie Bashan.

Dr. Frankie launched “Little Gay Book” and quickly became the premiere lesbian matchmaking service in the San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, New York, Boston, San Diego, Hawaii, Denver (and growing).
She is now expanding the cities she serves AND her client base. In addition to her traditional, Lesbian and...
Continue Reading...

EP004: JD Wolfe - Mentors and My Hero’s Journey

episodes show notes Apr 27, 2020

Photo: From JD's Instragram: This #THIS this is how proud I felt today working The Mankind Project booth at pride. What a joy. So many differences on display. It was glorious. #MKP #difference #jdwolfecoaching #lapride #authenticity #grateful #diversity

Today, I’m speaking to JD Wolfe.

I wanted to interview JD because I saw his gifts in action in brotherhood at the ManKind Project (MKP). It’s a pleasure to have JD Wolfe joining us on today’s podcast to discuss (among other things) re-framing our gay personal history as a hero's journey, healthy emotional advice for this quarantine season, and navigating healthy, sustaining relationships.

He has the ability to connect with men and support them in their own work to become better individuals and better members of society. That’s exactly what the GerleMen podcast is about. Helping men see their own gifts and challenging them to step into leadership in their own life.

JD is a coach, yoga teacher,...
Continue Reading...

EP003: Being A Man (BAM) - The Courage to Feel

episodes show notes Apr 20, 2020
Welcome to the "Being A Man" series!
These are not “BE a man” directives. Instead, I present ideas on “living” and “being” I find useful in my own life.
I’m not telling you what to do to prove you’re a man. I’m sharing insight on “being,” the inward reflections of a conscious man who knows what he wants and how to get it.
Your authenticity is the tool and a heart-centered connection with yourself, with other gay men, and with your own chosen communities is the goal.
Use the parts that work for you and leave the rest.
“Being A Man” episodes are wrapped up in a cool three-letter acronym. “BAM.” So you can find the Being A Man episodes easily by looking for the BAM heading. 
And now today's show...
Today I talk about the importance of identifying and expressing our emotions; the usefulness of feeling our feelings and how it can lead...
Continue Reading...

EP002: WeHo Mayor John D’Amico, COVID-19 & AIDS

episodes show notes Apr 10, 2020

Photo: Mayor John D'Amico is seen here during a West Hollywood City Council meeting in 2018. You can see more pics and contact Mayor D'Amico directly via Twitter @ourWEHO.

Today we talk with the Mayor of West Hollywood, John D’Amico. He’s a leader who actually contracted COVID-19 and is here to tell us the story.
I first met Mayor D’Amico when I was working in the City Manager’s Office at West Hollywood City Hall. Later, John believed in my vision of creating “TRIBE - Gay Men’s Discussion Group” that was made possible by the City Council and I facilitated for over 5 years.
For more than 20 years, Mayor John D’Amico has participated in city leadership as a member of Advisory Boards and Commissions, and for the past several years, as a member of the City Council.
He also has worked at AIDS Project: Los Angeles, was the Co-Director of Public Policy for the County of Los Angeles Department of Health...
Continue Reading...

Sign Up for New Espisodes & Updates!

We look forward to sharing new episodes and important updates with you. Thanks for joining the community.