EP008: Dr. Don Kilhefner: Wisdom of the Tribal Elder

episodes show notes May 25, 2020
PHOTO: Don Kilhefner and Morris Kight at the Gay Community Services Center, Los Angeles, 1972 © Anthony Friedkin from EMAHO Magazine.
Today’s guest is Dr. Don Kilhefner.

I wanted to interview Dr. Don Kilhefner because his name and accomplishments show up nearly every time I do work on elevating Gay Male Existence. He’s a living icon of gay activism.

In his 80’s, he is still a dynamic force in the gay community. As you will hear in this episode, it’s a community he considers family.

Mr. Kilhefner has a remarkable amount of energy, vision, experience, and wisdom he generously offers to his family on a daily basis .Another guest, who has done and keeps doing amazing things for the gay men’s community. Let’s heed his advice to know ourselves better, so that we may serve our community better. 

Because of the COVID-19 threat, this episode was done over Zoom, so you will notice some sound quality issues. I ask that you focus...

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EP007: Yuval David - The Loving Adventurer

episodes show notes May 18, 2020

Today I talk with Yuval David.

Yuval is an accomplished actor, filmmaker, content creator, and activist. But the biggest reason I wanted to have a conversation with him is because of his attitude.

His motivation for doing all of these things comes from a place of love. If you have already listened to the first Being a Man, or BAM episode, you’ll remember that I’m big on understanding our core motivations, our feelings, our foundational beliefs about ourselves.

Because when we do that, we get what we want.

What Yuval wants is a better life for the planet and his communities. Yuval’s core motivation is love, and he is committed to a life of the ‘loving adventurer.'

I hope you’ll find some useful information and inspiration as well. Enjoy the episode.

We talked about:

  • Love: a strategic choice [3:58]
  • Identity [6:32]
  • Gay elder [8:54]
  • Self-care [13:35]
  • Youthfulness: a personality trait [23:02]
  • Love Yourself [29:24]
  • Assimilation [32:15]
  • Unnecessary...
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EP006: Q&A: Hey Gerle, Why Do Gay Men...?

episodes show notes May 08, 2020

PHOTO: Polish gay couple, Jakub Kwiecinski and Dawid Mycek, recently produced and distributed hundreds of free rainbow-hued facemasks. And they documented their philanthropy in a YouTube video. More in this Advocate article.

This is the first in a series of Q&A episodes.

Feel free to submit your questions via FacebookTwitter or using the voice memo feature on your smartphone and emailing it to [email protected].

Really, we want your questions!

Enjoy the show


We talked about:

  • Why did you start this podcast? [06:59]
  • Is there anything that’s off the table in these Q&A? [10:45]
  • What’s the impact of physical distancing due to COVID-19 on the LGBT community? [11:47]
  • How are you managing the tight living quarters? [18:44]
  • Why are gay men still on Scruff and Grindr if we aren't allowed? [29:15]
  • How can we navigate the risks and the rewards as we break this isolation? [33:45]
  • Why are gay men obsessed with sex?...
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EP005: Dr. Frankie Bashan - Intuition is Everything

episodes show notes May 04, 2020

Photo: If you want something, ask for it! This might seem obvious, but sometimes we get so comfy with how things are in our relationship, that we forget.


Today I talk with Dr. Frankie Bashan, renowned relationship coach and dating expert. 

Dr. Frankie Bashan (or, just Dr. Frankie) is the founder of Little Gay Book, the most successful exclusively lesbian (and bisexual women) matchmaking agency in the United States.

 I wanted to interview Dr. Frankie Bashan because of her authenticity, her dignity, and her courage to serve her community. She leads by example. If I am reincarnated as a lesbian, I hope to be exactly like Dr. Frankie Bashan.

Dr. Frankie launched “Little Gay Book” and quickly became the premiere lesbian matchmaking service in the San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, New York, Boston, San Diego, Hawaii, Denver (and growing).
She is now expanding the cities she serves AND her client base. In addition to her traditional, Lesbian and...
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EP004: JD Wolfe - Mentors and My Hero’s Journey

episodes show notes Apr 27, 2020

Photo: From JD's Instragram: This #THIS this is how proud I felt today working The Mankind Project booth at pride. What a joy. So many differences on display. It was glorious. #MKP #difference #jdwolfecoaching #lapride #authenticity #grateful #diversity

Today, I’m speaking to JD Wolfe.

I wanted to interview JD because I saw his gifts in action in brotherhood at the ManKind Project (MKP). It’s a pleasure to have JD Wolfe joining us on today’s podcast to discuss (among other things) re-framing our gay personal history as a hero's journey, healthy emotional advice for this quarantine season, and navigating healthy, sustaining relationships.

He has the ability to connect with men and support them in their own work to become better individuals and better members of society. That’s exactly what the GerleMen podcast is about. Helping men see their own gifts and challenging them to step into leadership in their own life.

JD is a coach, yoga teacher,...
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EP003: Being A Man (BAM) - The Courage to Feel

episodes show notes Apr 20, 2020
Welcome to the "Being A Man" series!
These are not “BE a man” directives. Instead, I present ideas on “living” and “being” I find useful in my own life.
I’m not telling you what to do to prove you’re a man. I’m sharing insight on “being,” the inward reflections of a conscious man who knows what he wants and how to get it.
Your authenticity is the tool and a heart-centered connection with yourself, with other gay men, and with your own chosen communities is the goal.
Use the parts that work for you and leave the rest.
“Being A Man” episodes are wrapped up in a cool three-letter acronym. “BAM.” So you can find the Being A Man episodes easily by looking for the BAM heading. 
And now today's show...
Today I talk about the importance of identifying and expressing our emotions; the usefulness of feeling our feelings and how it can lead...
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EP002: WeHo Mayor John D’Amico, COVID-19 & AIDS

episodes show notes Apr 10, 2020

Photo: Mayor John D'Amico is seen here during a West Hollywood City Council meeting in 2018. You can see more pics and contact Mayor D'Amico directly via Twitter @ourWEHO.

Today we talk with the Mayor of West Hollywood, John D’Amico. He’s a leader who actually contracted COVID-19 and is here to tell us the story.
I first met Mayor D’Amico when I was working in the City Manager’s Office at West Hollywood City Hall. Later, John believed in my vision of creating “TRIBE - Gay Men’s Discussion Group” that was made possible by the City Council and I facilitated for over 5 years.
For more than 20 years, Mayor John D’Amico has participated in city leadership as a member of Advisory Boards and Commissions, and for the past several years, as a member of the City Council.
He also has worked at AIDS Project: Los Angeles, was the Co-Director of Public Policy for the County of Los Angeles Department of Health...
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EP001: The Queer Hero's Journey with Sister Unity

episodes show notes Apr 03, 2020
Photo: Mike Gerle with Sister Unity (right) and Margarat Snatcher celebraing the first day gay marriage was legal in California in 2004 (the first time).
Blessings from Sister Unity.
Sister Unity and I met more than 25 years ago at a photo shoot where the boys were naked and the sisters were in full, clownlike “face”: bright-colored heretical nun gear. We were shooting for a “cooking calendar” fundraiser. I stood on set naked while Sister Unity drew the Ohm symbol on my right butt cheek in cake frosting. It was a wonderful beginning. 
Later I noticed this incredible being, along with the other Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence providing rituals in unusual places like bars and leather contests. In addition to her hilarity, she brings deep spiritual centeredness that emanates from her open heart and Hindu practice. 
Please listen closely as she outlines the Hero’s Journey and how it applies to queer...
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Connection, Death, Sex and Opportunity

episodes show notes Mar 27, 2020

Welcome to the GerleMen community. Our mission is to celebrate the gift of 'otherness' and help shine a light on the gold we each carry. And now, more than ever, we need connection.

Today, we are launching the GerleMen podcast a bit early due as part of our reaction to the global Coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the globe. We are all, yes, all 7.8 billion of us around the world, are in some state of "social distancing" or self-quarantine in an effort to help 'flatten the curve'.

As a culture, we are facing a sexual moratorium that, for gay men, is simultaneously familiar and completely new.

I discuss the impact on gay men’s connecting culture, hooking up, missing the gym, AIDS vs. Coronavirus, and the opportunities this social isolation presents.  

The GerleMen team was planning to launch this podcast in June of 2020 on Father’s Day, but right now, it’s impossible to have a conversation about brotherhood, conscious sex,...

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Growing Up "Girly"

episodes show notes Mar 20, 2020


Welcome to the GerleMen Podcast.

I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s as a kid in the state of Nebraska, Wyoming and Idaho with a last name pronounced girly.

Yeah, you heard that right, girly. That name was challenging. It was a daily experience and being seen for who I was a gay boy. And then lying to everyone, telling them that the girly nature inside of me was just a joke.

Fostering heart-centered connections between gay men is what this podcast is about. 

It's a place for gay men, and anyone self-identified as “the other”, designed to help you: own your personal dignity, strengthen your connection to your chosen family(ies), and thrive in general society.

This is an authentic, honest, and open space - not a forceful, overhyped or fanatical one.

Welcome home, brother!

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